Future in my hands

Language warning. Some parts may have offensive words. Please read at your own risk.

It has been YEARS since I last posted an entry here and it was all about TOTGA (the one that got away). 

Since the last entry a LOT has happened. I got a job which I liked until now,  fell in love and broken the heart of the same person (and got heart broken in the process) and had a literal heart problem (Cardiomyopathy) the Pandemic no one ever asked (screw the bat-eating people. Just kidding 😁)

Let's talk about my upcoming wedding to the person I love "M" (the one I broke heart and somehow got a broken heart from the same person as well) on a separate post.

The reason for this is what I encountered in the past year or so. I went to M's place in the province and I was out of money. I loaned through a some online loan app (OLA) for a quick buck since I needed funds to go back to our place in the city. These OLAs are notorious of enticing people to loan a certain amount of money but when you apply, you'll just get a fraction of what was the supposed amount.

Example, Php 3,000 for 180 days. They will charge you with 'interest' close to a third of it and various 'admin' fees. Ending amount you'll receive is about Php 1,500-1,600 AND YOU WILL BE MANDATED TO PAY ON 6 DAYS AFTER You received the money

I loaned since I needed the money and got no choice. Not knowing that 180 days is just a scam I just become relaxed. On the 6th day, I got notified to pay the loan. I kept relaxed due to the 180 day bullcrap policy they had. 

On the 7th day which also happned to be payday, they bombarded me with phonecalls and threatening texts. I set my phone to ignore suspicious texts and blocked incoming callers who are not registered in my contacts.

All hell fucking broke loose. They called the numbers they asked as reference and worse, thoese motherfuckers have access to contacts and texted some people in my contacts which were not registered as references. 

I paid that day as soon as I received my salary and vowed not to use these services. 

There were tough times wherein I needed funds I did go back and did it again but made sure to pay on their stipulated time frame. Worst part, my personal greed took over from me. I loaned on multiple platforms cycling the payments until came a time, I wasn't able to pay some of them. Yes, I got drowned in debt by my own greed. To be honest, I loaned because everytime I went to my apt in the city to spend time with M, I needed money for transpo and food. I would always ask M out to eat at some places. 

There came a point where we fought about it. I told M that I didn't want to make her feel bad if I cannot provide food and some stuff if I didn't loan. 

I can't think of where it went wrong with those OLAs.

Now, I am just someone who was stupid enough to get drowned in debt with these people/platform.

I need a miracle. I need help. Sometimes I thought God abandoned me. But, I also remembered God will not challenge us to something we cannot overcome. I prayed and prayed for solutions but I didn't pray for forgiveness because I thought I was abandoned.

The future is in our hands. What we reap tomorrow is a result of what we sowed yesterday.

The One That Got Away

Every person who experienced falling in-love more than once, might have/ already experienced the same dilemma I am having.

 Every time I'm with my college buddies, when we try to look back our days as college dudes, love life topic is always part of it and this particular story of mine is not left out. In my case, there were two ladies who got away.

Let me start off with the second lady, let's call her Kitkat. She is an Industrial Engineer but currently working in a tech firm. She was the one I am trying to win over in this blog post: Chocolate Box. I was able to deliver my message straight to her. But not straight enough to win her because of her "priorities". 

After she graduated from our university, she started working. I lost communication with her (personal, social media, etc.). Then one day, I saw her Facebook status from 'single' to 'in a relationship'. My heart broke and I was like: "WTF happened?!". To make this story shorter: Although I made my move, I never pursued her. It was my fault. I lost her forever. She got away.

Before Kitkat, there was Roses (not her real name, you might see her name in one of the three blog entries), a communiations student. Let's say, she's the first woman I truly regretted loosing the most and was the subject of these blog entries: A,B & C. She's now a career woman who is in the hospitality business. I did crazy things back then just to try and win her attention. I enrolled a subject in their class, wrote her poems, gave her flowers for Valentine's day and I even had a fight with her because of my stupidity and over-eagerness to have her attention. When everything was settled between us we became close again. 

There is this one time I accompanied her to do surveys for her thesis, I had this one opportunity to tell and/or ask her:  "I Love You", "I am in-love with you" or "Will you be my girlfriend?" and other questions you can think about when you are about to court a woman. Guess what, I screwed my opportunity. I never told her face-to-face. And worst of all? I tried to compensate for it through IM (Yahoo! Messenger) later that night.(the same date as the survey). Then she slowly faded away in my radar. Until she graduated from the university. No communications. Then one day, she had a boyfriend. End of story.

In all honesty, I could care less about Kitkat. But Roses was and will be forever my first true love.I still am hoping that we will cross path someday and hoping that both her and I are single. When that time comes, I will never ever be a sissy and I will win her back. But for now, I am hoping that they won't be able to read this entry and pity me.

TraPo

It's about time for me to post this entry. I haven't been active in a while but I make sure my post is something juicy. SO, here it goes. TraPo is an abbreviation for "Traditional Politician" here in the Philippines. Trapo refers also to a Rag, a piece of cloth that is used to wipe off any furniture or even the floor. Why did I use TraPo as my title? simply because, I noticed that not only in the Philippine government this TraPo exist. Even in student organization body or a private firm. Still don't get the point? Browse down for more.

Recently, there was this Facebook group for our college. I saw someone post as if he (YES, he is a male person) is concern about the welfare of students. Here was his post at the mentioned Facebook group:

 Fellow Lasallians and CEAT students! Are you ready for the upcoming Prelim Exam? Study hard and enjoy the upcoming Christmas break! 5 days to go, it's party time! :))

It's just the person posted the message is not part of the current student council. Maybe he's concern, maybe he has another intention. To be honest, I am really intrigued by his post. Now that the upcoming campaign and elections for our university's student council is getting closer and closer. That person is an example of TraPo.. Posting something to make himself known to the community. Why did I say so? I think profoundly than others. I might have given malice to the post, but that is how I think.

So, this is the right time for me to say: Vote the deserving person. Not those who says, they did something (but they didn't). We are all college students and has the ability and freedom to choose, but choose CORRECTLY. In the end, it will be us who will benefit from the correct decision we make, or suffer if we didn't make the right decision or haven't decided at all.


For queries/disclaimers contact me through the email provided on my profile page.

Old Heartache's gone, New Love blooms.

Old heartache passes, new love is trying to enter. It had been a long time since I was in a relationship. For the past several years, the feelings that I am having for the some were shallow enough for me to fall out of love easily. So here comes another woman entering my life and now. I think I am ready to fall in love again. This feelings that I am having for her is not the same as to what I had in the past. My heart is ready, my mind says I'm ready to fall in love again. I am trying to conquer my fears one-by-one for me to be able to set on a journey of love I once had in the past.

Quoting one of my entry entitled: Chocolate Box

"You might have not noticed... Or perhaps you already did... Every time I am at a particular place and you are there, I just cannot take my eyes watching your gentle yet fragile movement of yours.. I know it sounds weird but that's just the way it goes.. Every time we are having a conversation, I just can't help myself but to blush and fall for you harder.. I am outspoken with my feelings for you towards others yet but when it comes to you, I just cant say it.

So here I am now, risking myself trying to be as outspoken as I can..
I adore you so much that, all the gestures I did and tried to do was because I like, love ,adore you...

I never felt anything like this to anyone but YOU... ONLY YOU.."

I am falling for you...

Where did our votes went?

Disclaimer by the author:
The following post is purely the author's personal opinion and some statements in this post came from reliable sources. For violent reactions and clarification of statement kindly contact the author through email at galaxyervin@gmail.com

How do we stop corruption in our society if we students do this? They say: Students/Children are the hopes of tomorrow. This is real of course, the con of this statement is that if the children of tomorrow knows how to do corrupt they will end up corrupt until they die.

What's the reason I have written this entry? Simple. In our university, I heard through some reliable sources that the university council and even the collegiate  council election was barred due to alleged stratagem of the winning party. I won't go to the details of what exactly had happened due to the fact that my sources didn't specify the details also. All I knew (from my reliable sources) that the petition of the loosing party was thrashed by the Student COMELEC of the university (Commission on Elections for all of you people who don't know the meaning). So the loosing party went to the Magistrate of the university and reversed the decision of the Student COMELEC. After hearing the news, it raised my eyebrow. The magistrate supposedly put the loosing party into power removing the elected personalities of the other party in just a matter of days. WITHOUT CONDUCTING PROPER INVESTIGATION AND EVALUATION and PUBLIC(Students/university) KNOWLEDGE of what had happened. Who will not raise their eyebrow/s if they hear this kind of news?

In my assessment, this is another case of corruption in the system. In my interview to some random people and also to some of my friends, they voted for the winning party and they can't believe what had happened and how fast the processing of the decision went. So I'll tell you, I voted for the winning party because I was able to see their capabilities in collegiate and university-wide scale. The candidates of the loosing party were young and not even involved in collegiate organizations. Based from my experience from the other year's election (this is on the collegiate level only) the elected student leaders were inexperienced and are far behind that what I expected of them. I was disappointed in their performance during their entire reign in the collegiate council. Ordinary students won't be able to feel their in-capabilities and inconsistencies but only those people who voted them by heart and have put a basis on what a good and consistent performance was. I am not saying its purely me. Trust me, there were lots of them who got disappointed.

Corruption might be a strong word but this is the only word I can put to those series of events that took place with regards to the election of the collegiate council and university council student-leaders.

Let this be a lesson to everyone.

Earlier this day, I have recieved various text messages claiming that there will be a rain with nuclear radaiation and various ways to remove/prevent radiation if ever a skin contact occurs. As we all know this radiation was caused by an explosion of one of the cooling towers of a nuclear powerplant in Japan, the one that is near the earthquake zone. As I follow the progress of the earthquake and tsunami aftermath and all the events that are happening ing Japan right now, I can safely say that I am up-to-date to the recent events that happened and are still happening right now. I was irritated to those people who sends wrong information (the one that I recieved through text earlier this day). That is why no matter what were the messages that were sent earlier didn't affect me. I pity those people who spreads wrong information to our fellow countrymen, why? Because spreading wrong information may cause panic and unecessary actions that may be regreted by everyone. I think we people should be more interested in knowing the "REAL" information and not believing easily on messages that were sent through SMS.

There are lots of ways to know/gather current event informations: Television, Internet and Newspapers. What is the use of all of these technology if not used in right way?

It's A Random Thing

To start off, I can't think of a right title. I don't know why. I usually pop a quotation of a famous person or even a lyrics to a love song then there's a title. I blogged this time just to express my feelings for one and only person. and that person knows who is she. Or so I thought so. I have been in this kind of feeling towards her but I haven't admitted to her directly, personally and truthfully. I am being bombarded blindly by all of these emotions that is running through my totality: Heart, Mind, Body and Soul.

Every plan of mine to confront her about my feelings are being foiled by something I can't explain fully. There are also some realizations that keeps me holding back from confronting her about my feelings. I am really really determined yet there is a problem, where do I start?