The Season of Perpetual Hope

So Christmas is very very near. I can't imagine such fast days. Yesterday felt like I was counting down from 100 days and now I didn't even realize it's only 13 days to go. I am not prepared for the holidays, why? I will be working and earning money for myself this holiday. :) It's an annual thing for me to have a job during Christmas vacation. If you're going to ask what will be my job, I help out my aunt in her fireworks stall somewhere in Tagaytay. I have been doing this for the past ten years or so. I kinda lost track of it already. Back to the holiday season, as I said earlier, I am not prepared. I don't know the real essence of the holiday. All I know that this season is the story of how Mary and Joseph struggled to find a birthplace for Jesus, then comes the three kings that was lead by a star to find the new born Jesus.

During this season also we commonly find wishlists, it may come in material things and non-material things. I've done some wishlist in the past so for this year, I'll probably do two items on my wishlist, a new pair of sneakers and a complete family for Christmas. Why just this two? I really cannot explain it well. With the sneakers, I just wanted a new one. For the second item, I am not used to an incomplete family during this season. My dad is in Qatar to work. I just miss him during this time. We were used to have everyone on the dinner table for Noche Buena before my dad left for Qatar few years back. The last time we were complete during Christmas was 4 years ago when my dad first came back to have a vacation from work. That time I was very very happy for we are complete. Not just the material things he bought for us all.

I seem not to wish for more material things because those material things may get worn out, get lost, go old and any other physical and chemical transformation may occur to them. I am contented during these times with my family, loved ones, relatives and some friends.

So am I contented? Is it worth? Have you realized the real essence of the holiday? These questions oftentimes come after me during this season. I am yet to discover and answer all these questions. I am trying to find out everything in my power. Every year I try to discover, and every year I learn more important things during this season.

I am in love with you since the day I knew you..

"I am in love with you. From the start I got to know you. I think you know it by now." We were in a party in a particular place I could not recognize. I was too shy to talk to you in that scenario. It was four months since I last saw you. Four long months since I last talked to you. You were with your usual circle of friends which is not so new to me. You approached me in in an unusual manner looking at me as if you got a very deep burden inside you. I gathered up my strength and asked you: "what's wrong?" before you could even approach me. You were walking slow, something I was not used to seeing you. You answered me back and said: "I need you!" In my amazement, I was stunned momentarily. I muttered: how do you need me? Tears suddenly fell off from your eyes. I was confused. I don't know what's happening. My heartbeat rate went faster. You responded in a tone so low, suddenly all I am hearing from that place was your voice. Then tears came down rushing towards my cheeks.

"I was all alone in my home, after I took a bath I headed out the bathroom. Someone knocked me unconscious the next thing I knew I was lying in a hospital bed. There's the police officer and the doctor. The police officer said I was lucky I wasn't killed and the only motive was me. I was abused E. and now I am four months pregnant. I don't know what to do."

By the time she finished telling me what happened she grabbed my arm and tried to pull me on the dance floor. Even though I could not recognize the place, I am certain that there's a dance floor. Instead of having me pulled to the dance floor, I pulled her towards me and I hugged her and whispered: "I will take care of you, and I will never ever leave you out of my sight again. I love you from the start. "

I woke up, realized it was all a dream. Yet, I felt the tear in my cheek as I slowly opened my eyes.

Chocolate Box

So what is love?
I have asked that myself so many times..
A friend asked me once, "Have you found your true love?"
I just answered "I just saw my girl in the green scarf" in perplex manner.. I just can't get a hang with a particular movie that's why I answered that way..

You might have not noticed... Or perhaps you already did... Every time we are together, I just cannot take my eyes watching your gentle yet fragile movement of yours.. I know it sounds weird but that's just the way it goes.. Every time we are having a conversation, I just can't help myself but to blush and fall for you harder.. I am outspoken with my feelings to you towards others yet you yourself I can't.. I am petrified to the fact that you might drift away what we have now, Friendship...

So here I am now, risking myself trying to be as outspoken as I can..
I adore you so much that, all the gestures I did and tried to do was because I like, love ,adore you...

I never felt anything like this to anyone but YOU... ONLY YOU..

RANT RANT RANT!

I was pissed off this day. Why? As I entered *insert mall name here* of course there was a routine check-up of things. I know that. What made me pissed off was the guard. He pulled my bag while I was opening it for the inspection (although not forcibly pulled it) and banged it on top of the inspection table. I reacted "Kuya dahan-dahan naman laptop tong dala ko" He replied: "kayo naman sir ang nagbagsak." I was like WTF Mr. Guard you were the ones who pulled my bag and banged it to the table and you were saying it was my fault? I suddenly errupted and wanted to confront the guard but I didn't want to do a scandal and cause delay to entering patrons of the mall. So I just went off and kept it to myself and now, I am ranting this in my blog.

That guard really pissed my afternoon.

Superhero Version 3

If I were The Flash

I will be there by your side as soon as I can

whenever you need me

If I were Superman

I can protect you anytime from anything

and no Kryptonite can weaken me as long as you are there

by my side

If I were Spider-man

I can be as sensitive as he can be

to warn you with with any troubles and be able to protect you

If I possess all these powers

I can be able to take care of you anytime

prove to you that I care

show you how

I can protect you from this insane world that were living in

and

I really love you

A lil thought.. :)

I just read this from a Hallmark Card I saw from the bookstore I dropped by before going home.. There's a cellphone trinket inside that thought card.. I am planning to buy it but I'm not sure whether to give it to her or not.. Here it goes:

Even from a distance,

I would know you...

I'd knew you

by your carefree-weekend walk

or the way you tilt your head back

when you laugh...

Even in a hundred years

(if life could live

as long as love),

I would know you...

it would be your deep

magical eyes

and the curve of your lips...

Even after all that time,

I would know you...

and I would love you still...

Super BV

Let me define first BV. BV means bad vibes. I had my day started good. I even had fun with my long time college buddies, Rai, Pao, Bon and Kenneth also accompanying us Rai's girlfriend Lei. We had our late lunch at Gerry's Grill Tagaytay then we had a little drink. Our lunch was care of Lei and Rai then the following, we chipped in. So where's the BV there?

Here it comes,

I came home still on a good vibes. I opened the internet seeing someone posting a very unnecessary post on FACEBOOK. Of course I replied to that post because I am kinda involved for tomorrow's activity. Then suddenly I saw a reply which is totally STUPID! YES you red it right! STUPID! The reply was like cooking yourself in your own oil reading the reply it made me furious. Then so it goes...

Compare me to you? Excuse me. We're not on the same level.. Maybe you are higher than me at some points BUT ON REASONING?? I AM WAY BETTER THAN YOU PAL!

Oh Lady! Why are you doing this to me?

YES! I admit it. I am really into her. I am falling for her so deep yet I don't have the guts to tell her. I wanted to But I can't.
She's driving me into a very intense Euphoria every time I see her, talk to her and even tweet her out.

It's funny how the fact that they are saying that this lady is concentrating on her studies, I am challenged to get to know her EVEN more.

At the end of the day, my heart says: "she's the one!" but my mind keep on telling me: "it's not yet the right time!"

-I think I getting in love yet again.

I just want to have a good night sleep

I have been like this for the past week. I have no sleep at all. I wanted to sleep early but my insomnia keeps on bothering me. No matter how I wanted to sleep early, I end up sleeping super late at night.

Some say this is the effect of being in love. But I say No. I'm just having Insomnia.
I wrote this one while doing a review for a quiz in a major subject of mine. Obviously, I am having insomnia.

I am on my knees literally

I felt I lost everything when we set apart. You were there and I was here.

We barely see each other online or even get a bump through sms. Each of us

has different priorities. You have your job or so I think so, I am still at school

trying to finish my degree. I so long to see you since then.

I can't stop thinking about you, looking up your social networking accounts,

and my phone hoping to see your name on my inbox. If that happened, I'll

be the happiest guy aloud...

Summer Time Hating

It's been a while since I've last written my entry. I rarely find thoughts especially now that I am a little bit busier with the whole college thing. That is why I hated this summer. I had to enrol for a subject that has so many pre-requisites for the next semester. It's a little bit disappointing because I think I haven't exerted efforts most especially in the final period. Its like wasting monetary resources, time, energy and other resources possible good thing, I passed the subject but it is not enough. Maybe hating to go to school on a summer is a thing for me because I am not used to go to school on a summer. Plus the fact that the weather is insanely unsatisfactory.